


Open Up

by dasfreefree, imagine_that_haikyuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Female!Reader - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Intimacy, NSFW, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:07:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24644542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasfreefree/pseuds/dasfreefree, https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagine_that_haikyuu/pseuds/imagine_that_haikyuu
Summary: You've been dating Ushijima for a little while now, but you're still unsure of how he really feels about you. It's time he opened up.
Relationships: Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 174
Collections: cry? or not ;)





	Open Up

**Author's Note:**

> This scenario was originally posted on January 9, 2017 to our [tumblr](https://imagine-that-haikyuu.tumblr.com/post/155652678813/gimme-some-angst-ushijima-been-in-a-relationship). Some edits have been made since then.
> 
> Writer: Rachel Lauren
> 
> Anonymous asked: gimme some angst! ushijima been in a relationship and always keeping a small distance until one day his gf says to him something like he needs to open his heart a little bit more cause she doesn't know if he really loves her or not. U decide if they stay together or not

What’s that saying again about how women think too much during sex? You always wrote it off as some misogynistic trite men say to excuse themselves for not being able to or just not wanting to bring their female partners to orgasm, leading women to think that’s just how it is and they’re the ones who have to change.

Except you know you overthink everything regardless. That and Ushijima has never had an issue getting you off. But even you could feel that something was missing even long before your relationship became sexual.

What’s lacking is—in a word—intimacy. Maybe it’s plain silly to think this now, and wonder exactly how you’re able to think of _anything_ for that matter, while your boyfriend’s dick is pounding into you so hard that you’re seeing stars and you’re teetering on the edge of climax, screaming his name loud enough for the neighbors to hear. And without fail, you come with a final cry of pleasure. After coming down from your high, you find it in yourself to spur on Ushijima to meet you.

It’s the next part you’re more worried about: when you’re both relishing in that post-sex euphoria and fatigue while trying to catch your breath. His forehead is pressed to yours and his eyes are closed and every time you think this will be the time he’ll kiss you and tell you that he loves you. Except it ends up like all the others, when he opens his eyes again and only says, “Good work,” before pulling himself away from you and taking to his side of the bed.

It’s not that you’ve never kissed each other either: there wasn’t a single time where the two of you went at it without doing so in the beginning. But for the other times, they’re usually rare and feel more like social protocol on his end than an expression of his romantic desire for you.

Sometimes there’s pillow talk. It’s mostly just talk and not much touching, and you’re usually the only one saying something. At least he listens to you when that happens: he’ll ask questions or give a comment when he does speak. When he doesn’t, he’s turned towards you, eyes never straying from your face and clearly engrossed in what you’re saying.

It’s times like that where you wonder if you’re just reading him wrong. You’ve always known that he’s rarely open about his feelings unless you ask him directly, and he has no trouble with stating exactly what he is thinking. The fact that he’s not an overtly affectionate person by nature also doesn’t make figuring out your problem any easier.

So you decide to bring it up. It’s not the best time, but it’s been eating away at you little-by-little and you’re afraid of letting it break you down completely. These moments alone are also limited thanks to his busy schedule, so you have no choice but to take advantage of the fact that you have his full attention.

“I’d like to ask you something, if that’s okay,” you say.

He lets out a hum, the type you’d hear from anyone when exhausted.

“I was wondering if you’ve realized that you’ve put a bit of an emotional distance between us.”

Ushijima turns his head, fixating those dark olive eyes on you and holding your gaze momentarily before looking up at the ceiling.

“I don’t understand,” he responds.

You pause, racking your brain for the best way to explain this to him. In your head, what you want to say makes plenty of sense, but even you understood that the vague wording you plan to use is apparent because your mind could fill in the blanks.

You hesitate, but finally manage to explain, “To a degree, I know how you feel about me. At the very least, you like me well enough to call me your girlfriend and for us to be intimate on a sexual level. And I know you’re not the kind of person who do those things with woman he didn’t actually have feelings for. But at the same time, I don’t know how you feel about me on a more emotional level.”

Ushijima looks to you again. There’s a hint of curiosity somewhere in that tired yet serious appearance.

“Would you like me to tell you?”

Of course, that would be the simplest solution. However, you also felt that it shouldn’t only be apparent when prompted.

“Sure, that’s one way, but there’s also some other ways to do so that aren’t as verbally direct but still get the point across. For example, when it’s just the two of us alone like this, you could tell me something about yourself that I don’t know. Because then it shows me that you’re comfortable enough to share that with me. It might be cliché for me to ask you to open your heart up a little more, but I think that’s what I’m trying to get at here.”

“I see…” 

His eyebrows furrow a touch in thought. He turns his gaze back to the ceiling.

“I know, this is a hard conversation to have, and maybe I’m just—”

“I’ll have to do better from now on. What else can I do to show you how I feel?”

You blink in surprise and once more Ushijima directs his focus on you. With a smile and a sigh of relief, you feel your shoulders drop. You’re glad that he’s taking this all well. That competitive drive of his—his desire to improve so he can be the best—seems to apply to things outside of volleyball too.

“Um, well, I like physical intimacy, even in small doses. Like kissing or hugging when the moment feels right.” He considers your suggestion briefly, before gradually holding his arm out towards you. You let out a hushed laugh. “It doesn’t have to be right now, especially if you think you might be forcing it.”

“I want to show you how I feel right now.”

In order to make something a habit, you have to practice it whenever possible anyway; the fact that he wanted to make an effort too was reassuring. There was no reason to argue with his logic. You shuffle towards him on the bed and settle onto your side against him, resting your head against his broad chest. Ushijima wraps his arm around your shoulder and places his hand on your waist.

There’s a long silence after that, but it’s far from uncomfortable. The rise and fall of his chest as he breathes, along with your fatigue from a rough ravishing are enough to nearly lull you to sleep. Whether or not it’s forced, being with him like this gives you the sense of safety and warmth that you had been looking for since day one.

“I understand now. Why you wanted to do this,” he comments, cutting through the tranquil ambiance. You raise your head to give him a sleepy but questioning look, but he speaks again before you get a glimpse of his expression. “This is nice.”

Ushijima’s smiling at you: lovingly, if you had to choose a word. It’s small, but that safety and warmth you savored from moments prior emanates so very clearly from it. It may have taken a while to get to this point, but compared to nothing you quite like this slow, good start.

He’s right. This is nice. 


End file.
